Promise land or the Promiser?

It's been long since my last post in July and many things had changed. Drastically I mean. Fallen out of school cos I said "I give up", n there I am now back working as a part time chef, a guzheng instructor and programme coordinator. Many asked, arent you tired doing all this, holding 3 jobs in your hands and working mon to sun? Honestly, yes I am. But also I am too busy to go back to God too. Time when I wake in morning was spent on TV shows, prog coordinator projects, or just stoning before chef work starts; train trips became napping time; breaktime spent on laptop; after work time spent on washing up n flopped dead on bed. That became the cycle every single day, and so where was the "God's time"? idk...

As Pastor John Bevere was sharing abt the series of Good or God, God touched my heart once more. Suddenly i realised my missing "God's time" in my everyday and how I failed to even try maintaining that relationship with my heavenly Father. So what if work brings me money? Yes God promised me financial stability at the end of the day with all the 3 jobs i hold, my promise land. But, what is good may not be God, and tears fell as I realised I had been naive to not realise I had been pursuing the wrong goal. Pastor John Bevere mentioned abt how sometimes we pray for the wrong things and kept going towards the wrong goal and there I was, going in the wrong direction. It all comes down to asking myself this:

What is my TRUE goal? Do I want to seek the promise land that God had promise me, or do I want to seek the Promiser?

Exodus 22:1-3

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Depart and go up from here, you and the people whom you have brought out of the land of Egypt, to the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, saying, ‘To your descendants I will give it.’ 2 And I will send My Angel before you, and I will drive out the Canaanite and the Amorite and the Hittite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite.3 Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, lest I consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.”

God told Moses to go to the land he promised but He will not go with them Himself. There, the answer was clear. If I have to choose I knew I would rather have God's presence without His promises than to have God's promises without His presence... 

That day I cried in a mess in service. Pastor gave us a min to talk to God, tell Him something that I want to, just like how we will talk to our daddy... I reached my hands up, remembering a service that was preached on what it meant when our hands are positioned in different positions... My outreached hands wanted to surrender my life my commitments back to God once more, and said: "God, Father, I missed you, so much..." There and then I knew God heard me and this unexplanable peace just surged in and i had the feeling of daddy's care just like how a dad will pick the baby up when they reach their hands up in the air.... 

Pastors always mention:

Time is the price to God's presence

1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!

I knew I not just need to come to God more, but persistently, continuously... just like the song that sung: I need you more, more than ytd, I need you more, more than words can say. I need you more, than ever before....