Discouragements

Too many things happen in just one week... problems after problems, disappointments after disappointments...

1. Been busy with new menu trainings as I went the extra mile to really go through everything in the recipe book and clarify, summarising everything on a "cheatsheet" for the sake of asia sq abc chef team. But, so what if i do so much? people dont appreciate and took them for granted and what hurts was people PITYING me and being nice to me just cos i had depression before? I guess if the Regina before would have been angry cos it was humiliating, but today I say it hurt not cos it was a personal attack, but it hurt cos it came out of the mouth of the follower of Christ; it hurt cos why ppl dont understand...

Remembered what was shared in the service of Intimacy with God, where I asked myself:

Am I an example to the people around us, an alternative voice or light to others? Are the things I say or do reflect God, living the way God wants me to?

but I'm burdened, very burdened on how to let those who dont understand, start to understand the heart of our God... but i dont know how...

2. Penang Gugu passed away out of the sudden without saying goodbye. Daddy and mummy cried upon receiving the call. It hurts cos the strongest guy at home held the phone and just kept tearing, a scene we last saw when I was 7 when the hospital called abt the death of my grandma. The nxt few days I was just challenged to pick up the burden of taking care of grandparents and siblings on top of the hectic workload before i fly to penang for the wake later on thurs... I gave all to take good care of grandparents, I gave all to prep bkfast for siblings but its still NOT ENOUGH...

I missed gugu too, knowing it wont be a "see you again" goodbye to her, it placed fear in me... life and death, when will be the last day we see each other? When will be the last chance to get this one person saved and secure an eternal life with God? 

3. The dilemma of attending the chinese rituals in Penang as a christian was a huge fear...

Exodus 20:5

you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God,am a jealous God

Remembered what was shared by Pastor John Bevere: A person who is scared of God is cos he's got something to hide; but a person who fears God fears being AWAY from God. That was the exact fear I had, afraid of immersing myself too much into those chinese rituals but needed to cos parents were unhappy if i dont...